Waiting

I'm waiting to hear from the scheduling lady. The anxiety level is already so high. I can't imagine how much worse its going to get as the surgery looms closer and closer. We're pretty much set on going ahead with it. When I hear back I'm also going to request a tour through the hospital. Its nationally ranked in the top ten (or so) in all pediatric areas. I still have so many questions I want answered before we go in for the pre-op appointment. I don't want to go in and waste their time and ours if any of these questions have some sort of impact on our decision. We're hoping to get it done on the 6th, that way he'll be out of the hospital and decently recovered by my grandfathers 95th birthday :) Poor baby is going to be SO sad that he's going to miss the first month of school. If you know Logan at all, you know how much he loves his teachers and classmates and all things learning. That means we're also going to have to reschedule our Texas trip that was set for October. I don't even know when he'll be allowed to fly. Adding that to my list of questions.

I'm anxious just talking about being anxious. OY VAY! I'm going to call the office tomorrow and schedule it if I don't hear back. Can you tell how scatter brained I am? Sheesh.

His headaches are getting more frequent. Or what I assume are headaches anyways. Its hard to tell with the lack of expressive language. He's getting so frustrated with himself, us, everything, he just starts crying and screaming, so I just scoop him up in my lap to snuggle. He's been having other symptoms too but I won't post the embarrassing stuff that he'll hate me for when he's a teenager!

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but we're also talking about Logan needing eye muscle surgery in the next year. That is, unless, this surgery somehow miraculously fixes that too. I'm really very curious to see if the Chiari decompression has any positive effect on his other difficulties. I'm trying VERY hard to keep my eyes on the optimistic end of the "what if" spectrum.

We've gone through and are going through so much, when do we get to catch a break? I could really use one. Until that happens I guess I'll settle down with a glass of wine before bed.






This post was yesterday (8/15) I didn't get a chance to publish it before bed. Oh well, it'll show up with the new one today and make me look like a crazy person (per usual).